Who decides the beauty standards?!

For as long as I can remember, I was called out for having a big foot, a fat nose, a small ass, and what not!

Obviously, I got conscious of my looks.

A 10-year-old Ashmita would spend a lot of time in the shower perfecting her smile to "look" presentable.

By the time I reached the fifth standard, it had become extremely important for me to improve myself, actually, it was more about improving my appearance. It became a base mindset to scrutinize images of myself and repeat every conversation and my stance in it. The animated smile that was captured in the pictures was too much, it almost looked creepy to some (including me, to be honest). Everyone around me including my mother re-enforced the "flaws" I had, that would prevent an ideal partner from marrying me. After all, my family was responsible for creating a good enough specimen (at the least) that could be married off to a wealthy man. This was made clear when my skin suffered a great deal of damage from the harsh 'Holi' colors when everyone prioritized going to a dermat for treatment since I was not married yet.

Finding a partner, to spend your life with and procreate, cannot be just about how you look, right?

Most of the people around me used to appreciate my fair complexion and admonish my friend who had a rich/colored complexion; the sad part is some still hold this inadequate belief.

For the most part, the appearance of a person is not in their control. One's body structure, hair type, skin color, etc is the result of their inherited genes. It doesn't make sense to me when people are chastised on the basis of something they have no control over. That being said, I do not deny the fact that we (humans) find certain features in others comparatively more attractive but I also understand that no good will come out of you criticizing someone's appearance, in the worst cases harsh comments can lower their self-esteem.

We are so alike in our basic foundations yet completely different in our composition, everyone is different.

Riddle me this, can you decide what is the appropriate size for a person’s feet? Should you have the right to determine how much is too much for someone else if it concerns you in no practical way?

My shoe size is EU 39, one of the sizes that get sold out pretty fast, even then I was pointed out as a kid that my feet are "too big". In my opinion, as long as you can find good enough clothing/shoes that you like, what's the issue?! Maybe if there was difficulty in finding stuff that you liked, I would consider it rare but definitely not abnormal.

It is important for us to not overlook the factor that just like our minds, our bodies all work in different patterns and it is possible for you to not fit in the "society's standards".

Here is an average photo of me, to make my point of normalizing average people