The festival of love and light!

Light

Diwali used to be a celebration of light; the triumph of  good over evil.

The day used to be filled with joy. I’d get new clothes, burst crackers, have fun with my folks. One unfortunate year, I developed an allergy to dust, smoke, pollution, and such. As the years passed by:

• I stopped bursting crackers
• I stopped going to the Diwali Pooja at our factory
• I stopped going out of the house to meet everyone
• I stopped celebrating Diwali
• I confined myself to a room with an air purifier for about a month

I am scared to move out of the house because I don’t want to spend my nights coughing till I can’t even sit still. The memory of crying while coughing my lungs out still haunts me. The feeling of being incinerated from within as a result of the medication given to me makes me want to crouch besides my air purifier and never leave.

Diwali is a big deal in India!

I don’t think it is possible for you to imagine what it’s like; so let me tell you: it is deeply sad.

I wish people who loved me were smart enough to refrain from engaging in activities that are harmful for the environment and someone they hold dear.

I wish I didn’t have to fight with them to encourage them to fight for me.

I wish they knew what I needed and supported me. I wish I didn’t have to prepare for the time when I would have no support.

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These days, it feels like I have lost my light! There’s a lot of darkness around me. I like light. I need love.

But I refuse to give up that easy. I get back up each time after falling down.

So, with my bichara dil, I am lighting a small lamp within myself. The purpose of this lamp is to guide me on my journey, keep me warm on cold nights, reveal my true self, and keep me hopeful. Thus, I will build strong walls encasing this lamp inside me and add barbed wire at the boundary to prevent any threats from dimming or extinguishing my flame.

P.S. Photo Credits: Dhivakaran S